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It’s hard to know how to put today into words. Like many other kiwis living away from New Zealand, I’ve been in shock ever since I woke up and saw the breaking news on the BBC. Trying to understand it all and grasp the reality of what has happened is almost impossible. Things like this don’t happen in our small island nation. To me, it didn’t seem real, until I walked into my underground station. Right there on the front page of the Evening Standard newspaper, the horrific reality of events. All the world’s eyes were watching. The country I now call home was focused on my beautiful home country.